Finding my voice - putting my Big Girl Pants on!
- Amanda McIntyre
- Feb 12
- 3 min read
Writing my first blog has meant finding my voice. It’s been a slog, and hilarious too, as I've been writing this since the summer. The pain I've put myself through, agonising over what to say.
Writing for me was always a challenge, making sense when receiving a dyslexia diagnosis in my late twenties. But its been no joke, the diagnosis hasn't helped, I ended up feeling like I was making excuses when I asked for help and was ignored. I am reminded of a recent astrology consultation, with the brilliant Liz Norman, i’ve just listened to (synchronistically) as I rewrite this for the final time (as I now have an accountability partner). My chart says, to be heard I need to (in Liz's words) “wear my big girl pants”, I must become brave, much prefer this term.
The challenge for this blog was to be authentic. I didn't know I also had to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. My issue with not being heard has felt real for me. I have spent years speaking up, asking for help and getting nothing back, as if I was invisible, does that sound familiar as a woman? What I realised was I wasn't hearing myself, my needs. I wasn't calling people to account, calling them out, allowing myself to be dismissed. I’d missed the email when the ‘big girl pants’ were being handed out. I would just feel frustrated, adding to the doubt of my ability, that I'd somehow done something wrong.
I have rewritten this so many times and each time i’d hear some internal derogatory thought saying, “that sounds c**p, you are repeating yourself, and who will want to read what you've got to say anyway!”, but whose words am I hearing? We come into this world ready to be moulded, this occurs from the third trimester to the age of 5, some say as late as 7 years old. It depends on our circumstance - what we learn about who we are, and this determines how we navigate this life experience.
The voice in our head is made up from our family, society, culture, friends, education, religion, politics, social media, creating an internal melee. I heard this called the ‘Culturscape’ recently by Vishan Lakiani of Mind Valley, this is his way of describing all that is from out there, masquerading as who we think we are inside.
When that voice's volume is turned down, and tuned out, we can finally hear our truth, our intuition and inspiration, what our gut is telling us. Notice the body's communication to us through signs and symptoms, what is true for us and what is a bit uncomfortable, a bit sticky - as I heard those uncomfortable feeling described recently. This inner wisdom is our incredible internal radar that is there for us, unfettered by our ego self. The ego is there to protect us, it runs everything we want to do through its filters of, ‘is this safe, do I recognise what she wants to do” that we learnt in those formative years when we didn’t have the consciousness to challenge or discern.
When that voice's volume is turned down, and tuned out, we can finally hear our truth, our intuition and inspiration, what our gut it telling us.
We are able to change these patterns, we can make ourselves heard, and we begin by turning down the self talk so we can hear our quiet, all-knowing inner voice that knows. As I read this out for the final time to my dear friend and accountability partner, it reminds me it's a move from our head space to our heart space. The heart has its own brain and as we begin to tune into that, we can learn to reduce stress and overwhelm, giving us space to be.
Lets ask for help from the place of our heart centre, and see where this takes us.
I hear you. I make no apologies for my grammar. And I make no apologies for myself fullstop! And neither should you - whatever your own inner voice talks about.
✨ If any of this resonates with you, consider booking a discovery call with me - a free, 20 minute chat, where you can find out how I can best help you. Whether you’re seeking clarity, relief, or a deeper connection to yourself, this journey can offer the space to restore balance and open to new possibilities.
Written by:
Amanda McIntyre PDHom Adv mARH mPHM
Homeopath | Reiki and Energy Healer | Creatress of Sacred Spaces
Registered Member of the International Practitioners of Holistic Medicine (IPHM) and The Alliance of Registered Homeopaths (ARH)
Book a free discovery call here thehealingarts.setmore.com/amanda
